farewell album ...
Laj Hakkinen.
was Friday, perhaps after all, until then, I was alone and sad thoughts about my life ... I was sick of the bad weather, only a few drops of a dusty storm ... rested on a wicker chair from the roof ... looked ... I looked at the flight of birds to the approaching storm ... looked cool tones of blue sky and the gray of the storm ... smoking a cigar, was not very good and graceful But it was not bad tasting ... tears in my eyes jumped, not knowing if the dust, or the sadness ... sadness ... the damn time, flipping through the album containing the images had been captured and last ... there were memories full of joy and sadness that damn ... that of which did not quite get rid ...
"picture: a man, age 25, perhaps look slightly less ... front, without a smile ... a lost face, anxious or thinking ... just see your face on a background of light that filters through a window ... taken in black and white film. "
walked along the tianguis posts ... I watched as people were milling around a post and another ... looking for a bargain purchase or unspecified what ... I felt someone's eyes follow my eyes ... I turned around, I found his face, and with it all its charm ... hurt ... it hurt to see her again after so long ... did not cross word, just looks ... distracted my attention the seller I took a camera ... soon ... and walked away looking in his footsteps ... I walked, the crowd emphasized her body ... she felt my steps and my eyes behind your head ... I went, I did not want to cross over a word ... I was so close ... I felt my march under the cloudy body's feelings of disappointment ... stopped suddenly on a counter ... also did a few yards ... made a purchase of only one minute left behind ... and I felt the heart beat and some tears wanted to peek ... we followed in his footsteps ... vintage and crying ... walk ... turned right just across the street where her house ... no more ... I went I waited hidden behind a cedar tree and a car ... I waited to see how it disappeared ... was someone behind her ... took her waist and hugged her ... she kissed him ... I pressed strongly camera ... I left ... I was sad every step he took was a feeble ... and hurried ... wanted to reach my apartment ... my doubts had been cleared ... I walked faster still ... I entered the pharmacy ... I asked a film for my camera ... my impatience was remarkable ... I hit the fingers of a desperate pace the glass ... I went out and immediately found my apartment ... I opened the door and climbed the stairs ... I opened the curtain to let in light ... spawned the packaging and placed the film ... I made a couple of botonazos to test the camera ... I took it ... even with the disappointment and sadness to see it ... I put my face in front of the camera and shot
film ... shed a tear from my eyes ... slowly fell to dampen that picture ... maybe it was the memories of his face ... wiping my tears with the red handkerchief had given me ... was going through my memories ...
" photography: a landscape of a road, substantially taken on the motion of a vehicle ... it shows ... nearby is the sweep by the speed of mobile ... the center, in the foreground a sad old tree, accompanied by a bush just behind ... it mountains adorned by some grassland trees that are lost in the distance ... against the tree and his friend, the asphalt of the road ... in color film ... "
was some time since that chance encounter ... ... me greatly affect the depression went away, now I was back ... my anxiety for some explanation or a simple phone call, grew ... I took a few days to go and relax and stop thinking about the reunion ... I lifted my head back ... a little boring, spent maybe three or two hours ... I changed position, the seat was not comfortable ... I looked for hours the landscape that could appreciate through the window ... it was miserable, I thought ... recharged my arm on the window ledge, and on my head ... it was mid-afternoon hunger ... even appeared ... I left the book on the seat next ... and looked at the images had ... I did it for hours ... if, for hours they had turned their eyes in my head ... ... his flashing eyes ... I felt in each remember the feeling of nervousness the first time we met ... but it was so much sadness ... I heard the call of someone ... and gone distracted by feelings ... I reacted and turned to heed the call ... Zaraah ... I was greeted with a hello, reeling from his Polish accent ... I smiled, hiding the sadness ... I asked permission to sit beside me and accompany me on some of the way ... I knew her from way back ... he was my confidant and friend ... but hid behind that smile my state knew what was going on ... - Do you still want, right? -. Asked ... "No,". Answered denying my feelings and fooling myself ... took my hand gently stroked ... ... and in it a letter ... and left ... I took ... unfold each doubles ... was she ...
"Sorry, I never had the courage to say things in front ... you know, it was never my virtue ... now you know why I left ... do not bother if this explanation was late ... maybe would not understand what was going through my feelings ... my heart was stronger with the situation ... sorry ... I'm sorry, I too am suffering as much as you ... take care ... I want ... "
I was angry cynicism ... even made fun of me ... and the damage had been consummated ... the ran crying ... it was quiet and full of courage ... there was sadness and hope in him ... I turned my hands to her face ... I covered it with them and tried to calm down ... it was improper to arrival of that letter ... cut my mind and my feelings, with an edge so fine ... I got ... I looked in the trunk ... I took my camera ... I went the window ... I admired the mountains and captured ... I was just ... was returning
meticulously keep that picture in the space that was left for a moment ... but I had left me with a big hole ... he was not only those photos ... ... still remember those memories ... Zaraah's apology for the letter ... I never understood the reason for them ...
"photo: a sunset ... you can see the death of sun a day ... ... mingled tones from bright yellow to a purplish black became a death ... maybe taken from a spot on a beach ... it's not noticeable to the naked eye, but if you look you see some reflections on the sea of \u200b\u200ban evening almost night ... "
takes a few days at the fishing village ... I did not sleep for the havoc let me get this letter ... I checked my emotions ... all there was a holiday ... was not willing to hold at all ... I heard on the player song music ... All Those Yesterdays ... that was all his poems so full of memories ... sad ... I went to the beach ... with headphones on, without hearing the noise of the feast ... in my journey I felt the pain of Zaraah ... I felt deep anxiety and depression that I had brought the letter ... she felt guilty because she was the messenger ... do not blame them for it ... my eyes gave a gesture of confidence as he passed her and left the pylori ... ... was palapa as of late ... barefoot ... I felt the warmth of the sand ... I walked a few steps up to the edge of the beach ... the heat became cool ... I dipped my feet in the water ... I watched the sun ... the day is dying ... and I died with him ... I left the wet side and sat on the sand ... repeated over and over again that my lips kept track ... melancholy rhythm of the music ... I plunged deeper into my sadness was not lonely ... someone ... not me ... my thoughts were lost as the horizon in front of me ... in my lethargy was Gertrude to keep me company ... came with your smile so tender ... ... I replied with a smile over my fake ... - Why did you miss all?, was concerned for you, "he said taking my hand ..." I wanted to be alone "I said ... really simple so that was my desire, lost in my thoughts ... I know I was doing the usual get carried away by the fantasy that they could create Gertrude wanted something ... me ... I noticed from the trip, when I board in my seat ... the betrayed their eyes ... there was some interest ... blinded still did not want anything with it ... I felt sick ... I did not want to show it ... he said nothing for a moment ... leaned his head on my arm clinging to me ... I did not feel uncomfortable as before ... it was beautiful ... I forgot a little bit of everything ... even when it appeared all the sadness ... look at the sunset ... the sun began to turn red as he said goodbye ... ... I got running ... Gertrude was surprised I ran to my act ... take my camera bag ... ... I did a perfect focus ... and I went to my place next to Gertrude ... filled me with hope as the sun ... after all, would appear at dusk ... and so full of hope ... I captured this image ...
beginning to understand something of how much I was hiding ... the pictures gave me answers ... I noticed that the sadness hiding behind those colors ... and I live in the flesh affected all that suffering ... missed his return ... missed his jokes ... I smiled for a moment, wiped the tears recalling some of them ...
"picture: a smiling woman in the first plane ... young ... no more than 24 years ... a big smile reflects tenderness or contemplation ... his skin is white ... her cheeks are rosy perhaps a sunny day ... her hair was being held in the middle of a dance with the sea breeze ... the deep blue of her eyes contrasts with the pink cheeks behind her ... seen as lost a line of sea and land on the horizon ... it might be the beach of the previous photo ... "
After capturing the image of the sunset I sat next to Gertrude ... and immediately recaptured my arm ... it was all so shooting ... and somehow also explosive ... I returned to my player ... unexpected turn in the track 10 ... How many steps? ... and that song ... it was all the same ... it was becoming the same ... the same sadness and loneliness same ... I stared as the sun sets ... however, Gertrude was holding my arm over to play with the sand ... forming strange ways ... I felt strongly the cooing of the heat ... I was not ready, I thought ... and really was not ... I do not want to hurt a fragile game ... ... I dropped the substantive hearing is still perceived the harmony of music and sound of the sea ... without thinking a second hand ... Gertrude took my first was a tickling caress your fingers crossed ... after mine ... I looked ... just smile ... my eyes mischievously turned into hope ... maybe opening a new road or maybe not ... the breeze kicked up her hair moving ... touching my shoulder ... I heard my name and I recognized that voice ... it was Zaraah ... came to us from the hand of love pylori ... ... ran played by moving the passivity of the foam of the waves ... ... they passed us stopped for a moment ... Gertrudis pylori talked a little ... no matter his words continued to see my sun ... to chelate sun was hidden behind his mask at night ... they left a moment later returned to be alone ... ... I suddenly got up from my place ... no matter what, even Gertrude ... she did it after me ... and put it aside ... measured the distance they put my fears ... Why not?, Why not take a chance?, Why spend my life remembering?, I thought ... maybe all be forgotten, but maybe not love ... I do not care ... I looked into the eyes of his blue Gertrude ... I was invited to kiss the soft pink lips ... I took her by the neck and slowly ... I went with Cadence ... kissed her ... just a gentle kiss ... your lips ... rosando only looked at a moment ... and again we see the sun hidden ... We'll hold hands ... for a moment I let go ... I took my bag and unwrapped my camera ... she would smile not hiding some happiness by moment ... and I shot my film ...
was so cute that girl ... remember my love I had in my youth and also had ... I remembered his stories of girls ... we did it over a cup of coffee ... enjoying both share our experiences ... ... experiences of my youth with this ...
"picture: some roses from a deep scarlet red ... just them and the color of love ... the light reflects something of sprinkles in the morning ... its freshness is so bright ... are taken polaroid film ... "
For three months the arrival of that holiday ... keep watching ... I felt empty Gertrude ... I could not love her ... even though revived my feelings ... it was not possible ... had to be honest ... it would be unwise to let it fall in love ... I saw that I was doing, rather could not be ... had been thinking all morning about it ... I walked down the street of Lilies ... had bazaars for all things ... I liked all these places ... a lot of articles displayed with their colors ... I walked thinking about how to tell him that just ... needed to do in a simple and painless ... at the intersection with Olive Street had a post ... I went ... they were roses ... a whole field of them stacked and arranged in vintage ... stood in front of its owner ... an old lady, some 60 years, looking humble and very helpful ... to me asked me to buy a pink or maybe a couple of them ... I thought of Gertrude ... had to be something original to say to goodbye, and they would not be roses, I thought ... well I did not like giving them away, she reminded me, cause my heart for whom I Gertrudis love left ... remember her happy face getting a couple of them ... I kept walking looking for something ... some detail to say goodbye Gertrude ... to thank you for your time and love ... now needed momentary solitude, my thoughts ... my thoughts asked what had made that decision ... borders ... a food stall right in the middle of the hustle to do it, I passed a store with old items ... I came in, caught my attention ... to get some bells rang ... I saw all kinds of antiques ... I was an older man ... He walked slowly with a cane ... he looked neat and careful, as everything that was inside of local ... approached me with a very formal greeting ... "Good morning, young. If you want to see something I am to serve you ... - he said pleasantly "Good morning ... I'm looking for ... a detail," I said looking at a pile of boxes ... I took a wood, fine wood was deep black in color ... I was pleased its forms ... very elegant and sober, with a tone I took farewell ... ... and continued touring every corner, something else ... in a glass case was a Polaroid camera ... intact to the naked eye conditions were good ... my mind ... I went shone the manager asked me ... show the camera ... "A young man when she pulled a key from his waistcoat pocket tissue ... approached carefully and gently opened the padlock on the cabinet ... the bag slowly while he explained its features ... I took it and I looked ... I looked through the lens ... I had good focus ... "I'll take and I take this box ... - I said ... interested in buying this movie got a package and put the owner saying, "I'll give the movie package, without the camera is very unlikely that anyone will buy it ... - I said and smiled searched in my pocket for the wallet ... it just took exact change ... I left shaking the hand of the noble old man and left the room ... ... was a good buy ... just to take two steps outside the room my mind was the idea I was looking ... I retreated and went back once again ringing the bells ... "Excuse me, carry the film the camera ... - I asked the manager ... - Of course young, go here, "pointing to his reading table ... I went over and remove the film and the camera .... placed on the table, I removed the package and looked at the magazine for it ... "Thanks," I said and went ... I went to the corner where they were all that sea of \u200b\u200broses ... to get the lady came to ask me to buy some flowers ... I took my camera ... I asked his permission to take some pictures .... ... I did not refuse an approach to a column of roses ... and captured ...
later learned the name of that girl ... I remember seeing her arrive Zaarah hand and a black box in his hands ... approached, we Zaarah submitted ... to spend our conversation I asked if I wanted .... "I came to love despite the short time," he said taking a picture of the box was in his hands ... he gave me and left ... he left with his pain ... I watched for some time, was one of my rose ... eyes gushed tears ... I was the pain of loss ...
"photograph: the image is perceived in pain ... on a sheet combine phrases and below all, a trail of blood ... perhaps it is a painful farewell ... the colors are pale and paper contrast with the deep black of the ink drops of blood ... sealed in polaroid note .... "
was determined to no longer play with fire ... Gertrudis noticed over time that was falling for me ... my hands were sweating nervousness ... realized ... to reach the door of indecision came to burst ... my ideas were confused ... I tried to knock on the door ... sorry ... maybe I just drift away without explanation sounded better ... Gertrudis not deserve this unfair treatment of my ... retracted and gave two knocks on the door ... not just my hands sweat, trembling also depressed the day ... sounded ... Gertrudis peeked the window and smiled ... I could not do it like before ... looking out my arms I received so cold ... ... my arms were weak ... I took his head slowly with my left hand ... I kissed his face with cold ... I felt sorry to see their enthusiasm euphoric ... the rustle of her in my arms increased my feeling less ... rejoined ... kissed my lips ... I learned to love ... a pure love ... I threw off their arms ... my backpack I got the black box ... "For you, and it went into his hands ... smiled as he opened it and found its content ... smiled and kissed me again ... I took her hands and squeezed tightly ... "Gertrude - I paused ... rejoined speech ..." I have to go ... I'm "not yet noticed the seriousness of my words, his eyes had that light ... - Listen ... I have to go ... forever. Never again we will see, said that his face changed ... I did not make it hard ... I went and I kissed her to say goodbye ... - Why you'll at least tell me? ... Is it me? ... tell me ... "he said taking my hand harder ..." It is you, me ... I can not love ... I'll ... hold me long day ... - I noticed his despair about to drive it stopped him ... crying ... her blue eyes became more radiant ... "Take care ... love you ... thank you very much for your kisses ... your hugs and your smiles ... because ... - I released her hands ... fell ... I left without saying a word ... searching ... seeking refuge in my thoughts ... in my conflict ... I went to my apartment ... every street and every corner turned into mountains ... I wanted to cover the horizon of Gertrude ... I was at fault ... I ran down the stairs ... I opened the door and went ... my breathing was busy ... I opened the windows letting in light from outside ... I opened the window ... the street noise and air came together ... I lit a cigarette ... smoked ... I was still at fault .... did not leave ... I sat in the dining room ... my hands were clenched so much feeling ... in front of me were still the roses and the camera ... but they were wilted, dead of sorrow ... so I ... I got a glass of water ... I drank the water ... look for paper and ink ... I wanted to write ... leave well enough alone ... I went back to the table and started writing ... I did not hesitate in my words ... each statement announcing my departure ... I finished the note ... I took a pin and pricked my finger ... a drop of blood ran smooth ... let him fall on the road ... I had become customary to photograph everything important ... I took my camera and captured
note ... I turned the page ... I found that I had farewell ... was normal ... as long as withdrawn and introverted ... always been like this all the time ... I never imagined such suffering a heart so noble ... really did not know the magnitude ... ... unable to keep painful memories ... getting hurt to the soul withers existence ...
"photograph: a misty morning ... the sun does not appear, perhaps it has completed the sunset ... the clarity is such that you can view a range of colors even brighter ... is taken from a rooftop, the drying of other buildings and some antennas describe it ... just Spotlight wanting to be a pale blue night ... slowly ... in color film ... "I did not leave
my stuff out of order ... next to that note was back with my wishes ... it was my will, but with few belongings but very precious to me ... Everything was so slow, the time in these moments so moving ... and the truth within I had something that looked and out ... after leaving the notes I walked out the door ... I hesitated in closing ... I left ajar ... so maybe they would realize the absence ... I took the chocolate out of my pockets ... I wanted to get away with single Proven world ... the golden envelope sounded while the slowly gave off my board ... the steps to the roof became an agony of memories and dreams ... every step in the darkness, remember those people that crossed word ... ... repentance were so crossed my mind at the last step or near the outer door ... my hand stopped. . would not open the door and show me the clarity to see the light ... ... I could not stop, I opened my hand ... ... the light lit up the stairway, leaving the darkness for a moment ... I turned around, the spiral staircase turned into what happened ... there was lit by the last light of day ... the wind grew stronger, my emotions did with him ... ran all the provisions ... the camera with me, had become the loyal fans ... everything was there ... I walked a few steps to give up the old bench meet ... those moments were the lobby of death ... I put it in front of the sun allowed to see the tired ... more tired and find my rest in the arms of that death ... I let go of the camera, put it on that rickety brick wall ... would be with me until the last moment ... I got the belt ... the belt tied to wood beam ceiling out ... breath for a moment the last rays Sun said that it was time to leave ... to forget ... to withdraw to break deep ... the last air before taking the plunge ... I checked everything ... I put the timer on the camera and went to the bench ... my eyes perceive recent color my life ... I closed my eyes and I fell in
death ... I put my finger on that last picture ... like you will not get away ... slowly ... it was his understand was a retrospective review ... so full of woe ... I felt with a solitude almost like it ... ... circulating air as fast as before ... as a goodbye ... goodbye a son ... a being who had given me life and I left to go away ... it was a life in an album ...
"photo: two men embracing ... sees the image the joy ... the background is not ephemeral perceived at all ... their smiles are stopped in time ... father and son ... I remember the film overflows a solo ... the colors are just beginning to break up those moments ... tones are so cold ... the blue in it is presented ... color photography "
